Irritating.

I know very well how late I slept last night. I was expecting I could manage to get undisturbed sleep until 8:00 at the very least, but hey, the stupid campers woke me up..They were so noisy I couldn’t get back to sleep..and then When I’m fully awake and irritated, they went away, and everything went still. How stupid can that be? Isn’t that way too irritating?? And I have not seen even the shadow of LAD. If I count the hours I spent with him in the vicinity, I wouldn’t even reach 20 hours. How tragic.
Last night I did something crazy. Well, there was this Darren person..and I fooled around with him. Well, sort of. Nothing lewd or anything like that. Well, I can say I ‘Kulit’ him a lot last night. And no way I’m going to fall for all his baiting and his wiles. He’s a creep. Yeah, and certainly not that handsome. but fooling around with him is so much fun. Well, I think he finally gave up around one. I wasn’t really paying attention to him because he sounds so ‘sira’. maybe the guy was drunk. It feels so good not to care. Like I said whatever I want to say…But really, I wasn’t being naughty. I wasn’t the one being naughty. Well, he must think I’m from around his area, wherever it is. But I am not. So I couldn’t get tempted with the ‘dinner’ thing..
Well, he is such a great laugh. I’d remember this someday and I’ll roll about laughing my guts out. Hah, he looks funny, with all that stupid hair on his face.
Who cares. His girlfriend probably.
It isn’t a business of mine..so let’s rest the case.

Oh, I got accquainted with someone named Lee Dong Wook. And it is so funny, having a name like Lee Dong wook. Seriously. Like Gong Chan! Hah. He lives in Australia, currently. And he looks like the guy from HALE. I dunno what’s the name of that guy.

And I spoke with KilMo ssi. He’s old.
He needs help, honestly speaking. I want to help him of course, since he seems to teach me korean well. At least before I slept i remembered everything..upon waking up though, it’s another story. Oh, and he has a friend named Jin Bae. cute name. Anyways, I’m glad I’m fooling around for a change. I’ve always been proper. So maybe this is why it feels so refreshing. Hah. The guy was speculating whether I was gay or not. ROFL
Really…haha. He Must be plagued by gays all the time. I should have told him I was. hahaha. That would be too funny. lol
Then I can’t imagine what would I have said. It’s like being drunk…my actions. Well…

Oh yeah, the most irritating thing of all. This guy I’m over with?? Yeah. that one I was talking about in my previous post, he was online, and he logged off so fast. maybe scared that I’d talk to himor something. Well, he should stop flattering himself. Like the British guy. Flattering himself! may crush daw ako sa kanya!!!!!???? well, totoo naman, but that was before. Ssssh! Don’t tell him that. He’s a complete turn-off…even if he’s fun. Funny I mean. ^^

Thinking back.

Okay. these are just the thoughts that went crawling through my head when I was doing my favorite chore this morning,
which was, naturally, washing the dishes. As usual, I was thinking about the current center of mt obsession, that old guy over there..
which You don’t have to know who. You ahve no business regarding that. Well, anyways, I was thinking about how my L.O.V.E. for
Hallyu is slowly dying and there’s a huge possibility he’ll be the reason why. Well, Of course I won’t let him sway me, I am not
that obsessed over him..maybe I am obsessed, but really, not that much. In any case, I don’t know , I was just thinking why on earth did he
capture my attention, he’s old, he’s fat, he’s anything but my ideal man. Lately my heart had been ignoring my mind’s command regarding
Mi..uh, principe ideale. Well, of course I thought about the other guy who also ahppened to be fat and everything but whom I always thimnk of as
Puuurfect. I don’t know what’s the difference between the two. Of them. Well, maybe because one was half the age of the other, haha.And I happened
to be crazy for the other while I’m over with the one. The Perfect one. Well, plus the fact that i was listening to 2ne1, whose
music wasn’t really my type before. And I don’t know when I started to like the kind of music they do. And I remembered the words of Mr. Old,
when he said ‘I only listen to the music that are nice, and of course those which I can understand’. Well, I know exactly what he meant.
I liked that kind of music too. I wouldn’t listen to anything except that kind before. But maybe I matured a bit. if you can call it that.
And then I thought that it was some girl’s kind of music too..you know the kind taht I didn’t like before. The kind that makes you want
to dance or do something crazy. Well, I’m not really the dancing type. In fact, you can never make me. Ever. Then i thought of what the other guy…okay, the one
I’m over with, said. He said the other girl knew how to read and write and say and whatever korean. And I remember thinking to myself, ‘what the heck, I can do that
too, so why don’t you choose me over her’, well, those were just crazy, obsessive thoughts, you see. haha. What a laugh.As if he’ll ever choose me over anyone.
He’ll definitely choose anyone else BUT me. I’ve already accepted that and it’s already embedded in my brain and in my hypothalamus, or wherever for that matter. So
I’m actually past the stages of grief, and I’ve even moved on. I’ve lost. i’m no valedictorian, I’m not photogenic, I can’t paly the guitar, or sing, or do ice-skating.
And I can’t afford to go camping in other countries, i can’t afford to buy a camera. let’s just face it, i’m no good, I’m not beautiful, I’m nothing next to her.
I’m not worth composing music for. As I am writing this I feel nothing. I am so happy I’m so totally completely over the guy. Well, I want us to be friends but i think
It’s awkward so I can forget it. Basta, i know when he needs me, (although I don’t think he ever does or will ever do for that matter) i’M ALWAYS HERE.
And regarding Mr Old, well, I even got to the point when i hunted down the old old copy of the MA he’s doing (and freakin’ good at) and tried to study it. well,
it’s so old the pages are crumbling when you touch it and it becomes dust, it even gave me a cold, but don’t tell my mother that. But so afr I only managed the first page.
I figured it wasn’t worth getting a migraine about. Because, frankly, if it’s really destiny, he’ll be the one to teach me,but of course, if it’s not, let’s forget about it
then. Oh, and I changed my wallpaper from us (Mr. Old and Me) to My Jisub waiting for me by the sea. Hah. Well, amybe not exactly waiting for me, since I captured it from
a recent movie. But who teh hell cares? No one. So it’s okay.OOOOh, that poor baby of mine, I didn’t send a birthday gift to him.He won’t miss it. He won’t miss my appearance. and it’s
actually okay because I will compensate in the future when we are finally together.I have my plans that if the Lord up above will allow, might be successful, and I might get the wonderful
pre=wedding pictorial around the globe which i had been dreaming about. And yeah, It’s more grand than the wedding itself..
like an advanced honeymoon, but of course no sharing of beds or anything like that. you know what I mean. yeah, amybe it’s to early to start planning, but again, who cares?
as long as no one else knows…haha.
I might be able to get YiRuMa to compose our wedding song and play it too. Wouldn’t it be grand? absolutely awesome! don’t you think so??

OMG! my new crushee is unbelievable!

Us Blockmates in the RHU with Sir Lafayette

*clears throat*
Okay. Here it Goes. I first saw him in a secluded part of the world..wherein only sugarcane grows along the road. Of course, I didn’t know him at first. I remember those moments quite vividly. We were doing the fluoridization of the children’s teeth, and he was the one handing me the dry/new cotton. I would never forget that time because we were more than a little bit stranded and we ate hershey’s chocolates and cheesecakes. Oh, and the part that I like most about the experience is as we listened to the falling rain, the staff of the LGU of Murcia dared us to sing. And then he was the ‘pambato’ of their group. cathlyne Penaflorida even sang, but it was a religious song, and they were begging for pop songs. They even urged me, not knowing that if I complied, they’d have blood running down their ears. Jevalym was persuaded to sing as well, and she was wondering on what to sing. I was crazy about “we could be in love” at that time, as well as now, and I asked her to sing it for me. And he said he’ll sing with her. Actually, it was slightly off-key, hers, I mean. Because I don’t think she has mastered the song. But his Voice was beautiful, and I wished I was the one singing with him. well, to be really honest, it wasn’t then that I set my eyes on him..I saw how HUNKY he was from the very start right when he was handing me those cotton balls. I was dying to know his name, and I heard them saying it: Lafayette, which, to me is a girl’s name.
Well, there’s nothing remotely Girly in him, if you ask me. He’s 100% pure male flesh–Hunky at that too. Well, you see, my greatest weakness are Hunks. They don’t have to be handsome, you know, for me to get attracted. They just have to have broad backs, with flat abdomens and sizzling appeal. He has all.
And just today, we were blocked in RHU,a nd I was quite surprised to see him there! He was wearing maroon-colored pair of scrub suit, with his shaved head and a really appealing HUNKiness. He was quite jolly, and was joking around. And of course, I got starry eyed. Again, as usual. He was kidding with us, and he started talking about syphilis, which I thought was a joke, although apparently, not. It’s about neural syphilis. he discusses it in a Hunky way too..see those CEOs portrayed in kdramas? so like him. He also mentioned about the group wanting to learn about ARNIS, a local martial art, and I presented myself stupidly. I think he didn’t realize I was serious.
I told my tatats about him, and I asked them to research him for me. his last name at the very least. Well, they were tooo shy to do serious researching and they overheard our CI, Sir Benitado telling our other blockmates that he was once a CI too. That’s why he looks and sounds so cool when he discusses and explains something.
He also shared about “The cat bit the rat under four pigs….” I forgot the rest. Basta, it’s about remembering the pulses in the world! And revised one of my favorite songs in a really naughty way! Imagine: …All I wanna do, is make love with you..(!!!!) lol but he’s terribly funny. I like his personality!
We were able to take photos together! And he read our palms! Correctly at that!
But I think he uses psychology..that’s why he knows.

We left, and i didn’t know his name still. Last name, i mean. So I searched his first name at google..and I saw some links, although it’s in blogspot, and I coulodn’t access it. He really is a professional martial artist! And he holds a rank in the club of martial artists! Amazing! He’s perfect..
I wish i could add him up in facebook
But I couldn’t find him…yet.
He read my palm! He said I was emotional..and I should use my intellect when judging people! I don’t understand much! I must ask him to read my other hand! palm, I mean!

Us still Inspired?? lol

He’s perfect! but I don’t stand a chance

My. I hate this school! >.<

Imagine! i couldn’t even download anything from my email! I couldn’t access harmless sites like mediafire! No facebook, no youtube! Not even my very own ipbfree site! It’s been more than a month since I last accessed my facebook account! And I was trying to download sheetmusic just now, to no avail..haish. I’m weary from all of these nonesense. I Hate—no, I loathe whoever did this, and I don’t care.

I better sleep, since I was up until 4 am this morning playing The Sims3, thanks to Kimuel

So Long

It’s really been ages since I last poted in this pathetic blog of mine. I had met my first love agin—-the one I had been babbling about long ago.. I am now in the 3rd year of my thorny course in college and I happen to turn 18 some two weeks ago! whew! I am old! I am expecting to have crows feet on the corners of my eyes anytime..and I am so frustrated. A GOAL unreached! I had made a goal to write a novel (and publish it before I turned 18…lol, it never happened. I’m more realistic though, now taht I turned 18. My attention is more on my Hospital duties…MCN quizzes..capping, etc. But I can’t deny the fact taht when ideas comes to my mind, I write it down furiously, like there’s no tommorow, even with the teacher right in front of me. Curious for my works? well, to tell you honestly, except for the really, unoriginal and pathetic work I finished in sixth grade, I never finish anything else..especially when someone knows my concept already..as if a magic spell ahs been broken. Well, I get writer’;s block too, and I am still waiting for the laptop from Dad. Maybe I could blog everyday with it. Oh, and I even no longer apy much attention to My BIG love..So Ji-Sub..But evn with my inattentiveness, I still love him like crazy. I have other ‘flings’ too..lol like se7en for example, who happens to be in love with Park han BYul for the last 6-7 years..Well, Kang Dong-Won too..and they’re just too many to mention, I sometimes forget. Oh, And I thin Jo In-Seong’s hand looks HOT..Him too. lol]

Oh, I miss babbling like crazy. You see, I now own a public forum (duh) where there are only two members. But I have Music sheets there, in case you wnat to DL..but They’re quite old. And EBooks too, if you ahppened to be a bookworm..

iNterested? ——> http://sohapilee.ipbfree.com

well, if you see the page, it’s really ugly..It’s under maintenance, you see. And I still haven’t got my laptop, not yet, so You jst ahve to wait for my experiments. I ahppened to delete the logo too..it has one, before. Ohhh, I’m so pathetic with this stuff. Anyway, someday, I’ll learn. Just like the way I’ll learn about the piano. Playing it, I mean. and the cello.

Lately I haven’t been out with the conBrio too..The people I love. I don’t even have a specialm someone and life’s downright boring..Oh, and I just became the biggest GOSSIPGIRL! lol, sshhh!

 

so now is my duty week..first time under Sir Pops, and he says He’s toxic. He’s really funny though, But I don’t really know what to expect. Tommorow I mean. I don’t care…as long as I can Watch TD and DMII tonight. I’m into Filipino! Yooohooo!

Sabbath with Nana=]

Oh, heck! what’s wrong with wordpress these days??=[

anyway, i’m here to babble about NaNa again. I can’t help talking about him these days. He’s just too cute to be left out! Last friday I came across him with a pail! I was doing my laundry then…and I look like a mess!!! Oh Gosh! It’s so embarassing!!!

That night, i did not see him in church…I don’t know why…I missed the thing like last wednessday when he passed, leaving behind such a sweet scent. I wonder what cologne he’s using….On saturday I saw him too, looking extremely fresh-faced in a black shirt! He si so fair-skinned that he looks so glowing! I know  he does not worry about oily-face or anything like that! he always looks so clean and tidy…really fresh..

whooohoo…I wub his eyes. I wonder if I should post a phoito of him in my “cuties” category. He dfinitely deserves it!

Managed to Dive as of Today…

Wah…today is an awesome day!!!! I love P.E.!!! know why???? I get to see NaNa topless!!!! Not that he’s so irresistibly HOT, but he can be considered as ‘alright’. Mind you, I didn’t even ogle him, since I’m too scared to get caught. He even used ‘my’ goggles, which was not mine technically. I don’t know why I got courageous all of a sudden…I used to say that I wouldn’t dare DIVE because no one reliable is there to save me…But seeing him swim like a fish, my heart was suddenly at peace. lol, funny, isn’t it??? Now I feel like I ahve all the courage in the world…I must ahve dived 20 times this morning, just to get it right. Of course, I’m burnt again, but yet, my heart is also burning, so why worry???! I just hope it will be forever like this..NaNa is such a cool person to ahve a crush on..It may be obvious, but he doesn’t mind..we’re still friends..He’s not the ‘taking-advantage’ type. He’s just so cool, and the fact that we are classmates, GOSH/.

Last tuesday we went on a field trip..He’s so awesome…so fairskinned…so funny, so cute. HAha. Love his indifference at times.  He is like Kang Yong-Ki in bad Love. Playful. If only I could write everything here. Okay. I’ll try. he’s a good kind of palyful. harmless..and cute. I think he should be in a group like super Junior or SS501. he is that cute! really. he dances well too, palys tennis(doesn’t it sound like Jun-Ki???) and sings too (definitely Jun-ki-ish.)

He makes it a point to greet people. Me at the least, not that I’m a feeler or anything…haish.

Fitness..

Itś what i´m trying to achieve this past week. I´ve been trying for the whole week. I jog in the morning and swim in the afternoon. haha. I got it straight! As in, for the entire week! I was able to jog at least 10 minutes a day, plus the stretchings etc, that makes it 15 minutes a day. at least. Then in the afternoon, although itś not so regular, I swim. i not a good swimmer, mind you. i couldn´t even do  a single lap. But still, I have not felt this healthy in my entire life. and You could find me bringing a bottle of water everywhere. I am not exactly on water thereaphy, but I am drinking at least 8x350ml a day. itś more than the requirement. I sleep earlier too..

Although itś not much improvement since I wake up as early as four in the morning to jog. I just feel terrific. I get enough sleep. Except for last night, I sleep 8 hours. last night I had only…6 and a half. pity.

wish me luck. I am dreaming of jogging with Jisub someday. I hope my abdomen won´t hurt if teh moment arrives.

Why do I have to suffer this misery???

yeah. Heś done it again. Is he doing it on purpose? Does he really want to break my heart that much? Well, sorry. My heart is quite unbreakable these days. yeah. really. actually, Itś been so broken so much that it can be no longer breakable. Like in chemistry, itś in the atomic state already. blame it to what happened four years ago. Now, the pain that I supposed to be feeling, just made me realize how numb my heart is. Still. From the shock it suffered years ago. stupid heart, isn´t it? well, I just can help it. Anyway, I get immune easily. So maybe, I got immune to the pain. Awesome. amazing. Thanks to that guy.

But oftentimes, I hate this immunity. Because sometimes, it makes me feel how mean I am. I think I´m one of the 80 percent of the mentally ill sir prose had been talking about. He said that 80 percent of the population is not bound in mental institution. I just might be the first in that 80 percent. I really feel so crazy. I´ve got this really enormous problem and I cried my heart out until my eyes got sore and puffy in a really embarassing way. Then, after the crying spell, I was able to involve myself into a maddening fit of laughter. Crazy, isn´t it? now, i can worry about the problem anymore. I can´t care, since I numb. I´m practically numb to everything. sometimes, i think I´m actually the opposite of what I think of myself, and what others think of me, of course. I think, i am actually an optimist at heart.

okay. what actually happened was…we had our Laboratory in Microbiology this morning. As you may know, weŕe classmates. And he was there. I wasn´t paying the slightest attention to him. I didn´t care. I got past the absurd feeling of liking him. He likes my friend,and we always stuck together. While we were answering our manuals, He came over and watched her. i was watching him through the corner of my eyes. This time, I wasn´t distracted by his presence. I did not get breathless, shaky,etc.

It was awkward enough that were in the same class. It was numbing enough that he was watching her. Then a classmate began to be really playful with her, destroying her concentration, and he got a little mad. ¨Stop it! can´t you see that sheś doing something?? Don´t disturb her!¨ that was his exact line. and I was beside her. heś so stupid! can´t he see that she doesn´t care a bit about him? And he knows as well, and thatś as clear as midday, that I the one who likes him. Why is he doing this? can´t he be at least considerate not to voice out his heart when i am around? Heś really not the concerned type of person. heś so uncaring, and i conclude that he doesn´t deserve my heart. He might as well forget it! I really really want him to feel that I am SO over him now! the problem is how…

everytime he does that sweet nothings, My herat is intact, as intact as it was four years ago, But i feel like I being slapped to reality. Why do I suffer this misery?

“All the ‘good’ guys are taken by my ‘good’ Friends”

in case you’re wondering, that’s my newest theory. Like “kilig syndrome”, if anybody remembers. It’s my theory, and so far, i’ve proven it right. kilig syndrome was somewhat a punishment or maybe a consequence for overreacting upon seeing someone I like. it’s the modified version of ‘lovesickness” in other words.

Now this new theory, I proved it thrice! I swear! the first time, when i first felt the throbbings of the heart. You know(maybe) the story. he fell in love with my best friend (at taht time) instead. So what do I do? act the ever-so-supporting martyr of course. Actually, i had to act like taht for i didn’t ahve the choice. they even became lovers. Right in front of my very eyes.

second, when I ‘Liked’ conbrio. Well, It’s obvious, who he is I mean. Everyone knows. I wear my stupid heart on top of my head, not just on my sleeve, so. And everyone knows who he liked. my pretty bestfriend named melody.

okay. this time, i fell hard again. splat six feet below the ground. this is another theory by the way. This stupid falling for someone and overreacting with clammy hands, ultra-fast heartbeat, stiff neck, prolonged blushing, emotional diarhea, fever etc., happens every four years. Oh-kay. that’s it. I even couldn’t eat upon seeing this tiger! Grrrr! Why does he has to look at me? why does he have to watch me? he should close his damn eyes when i’m around.! *sorry for the vulgarities here*

He. Is. such. A. Feeler!!!!

And now, i found out that he likes another close friend. Well, sorry to bebe, who i adore, and sorry for me too. he likes our friend. we like him. OUCH.  that’s life. it’s normal. yeah. it’s just me who’s being so abnormal, that I hadn’t got any quiz perfect ever since he started going to class. My class! I admit I’m being distracted. well, who wouldn’t? I like him, and he’s in my class and i could see his eyes boring holes on my friend. I love this friend. her name’s Elyn. Cute. she’s adorable. We go way back in High school. And now, we’re all classmates. SEV’s making me uncomfortable. He’s crushing my reamining self-confidence to the core of the earth. yeah. that low.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate her. She dislikes him anyway. Way back before he’d ever told her. And it wasn’t her fault! she’s a Victim. And even if she liked him, I don’t think i’ll hate her. Mind you, My first love was even more intense, But I never got jealous with my ex-bestfriend. I never ahted her! I just wished we could have what we had back then, again, now. But it’s impossible. Oh-kay. That’s another story.

And now, in class, I can’t help hearing his talk with bimbim. It’s impossible not to hear it, since we’ve always stuck together! Guys really wreck girl-friendships! Aargh! they’re so hate-able. I conclude, that I’m the most miserable girl in the ecosystem. I’m the unluckiest too, since i suck socially? Oh. Goodness? Why can’t I make a conversation last? I think a need a shrink. A theraphist at the least. can’t I be LUCKY for once in my life???