Letter to CeCe

CeCe

I didn’t know you were that stupid. I didn’t expect you to do the things you did. Never did it cross my mind that you are capable of doing those things. It saddens me. Actually, it breaks my already broken heart. How could you do that to yourself, just for a girl who doesn’t deserve you?
I thought it was just my imagination working overtime, but sadly, it’s not. I can imagine the excruciating pain you bore, and kept all to yourself. I really feel so bad for you. How could you?
I know you don’t like me back the way I do like you, but liking her that much is a crime. To my heart and to yours. I’m seething in anger right now. I’m mad. I’m not mad because you don’t return my feelings. I’m quite used to that kind of thing already. But I’m mad at you for being so stupid. Stop being a martyr! How could you be so blind? No, actually, you’re not even blind. You’re just pretending not to see the way she’s been using and two-timing you. Stop it, for your sake.
I’m pained just thinking about you getting drunk and breaking down. Please don’t do that again.

I know were not even friends anymore, and I am pretending to hate you, but actually, I don’t. It’s just that it’s so awkward and I’m trying to save my pride here. I actually still like you, a LOT, but there’s been a lot of pressure on me, since everyone knows I’m in another unrequited love thing. Which is so pathetic.
Do you know that I stop to smell ‘celadon’ everytime I pass by ZenZest? Because I miss smelling you. Before we used to hang out together and your scent fills all of my senses to the point of intoxication. I miss your scent. The laughter we shared. The jokes you crack. Your kindness. You’ve never said an unkind thing to me, that’s why I can’t hate you.
Please take care of your heart this time, and move on!
Stop trying to get her back.
She ain’t coming.

[Celerio-Celadon]

Tears on my keyboard

hi there.
I am writing to you, after so many years of silence, because my heart aches. I have to let you know how you wounded my heart. I know of course that you never meant it. You probably aren’t aware that you do. Hurt my heart, I mean. I wasn’t aware either. That you still have this effect on me.
I really thought that I am perfectly over you. How many times did I tell myself that? How many times did I assure my friends of that? And I really believed it too!
But when like today, I read something you wrote, I fall in love with you again. Or maybe I just realized that I have never fallen out of love after all. I was strolling alone all alone, and there was this really huge stuffed toy that I saw. It reminded me so much of you. Of how you fall in love. Of the way you love a girl. Of how romantic you are. Of how much I wanted you to be mine.
And of how you could never be mine.
It reminded me of everything. Everything about you. And I feel like my heart is being crumpled, like a piece of used paper.
When I read your poems, your quotes, whatever you write, it brings tears into my eyes, because I know, those kind of write-ups would never be for me.
I thought I was happy for you. Maybe I really was. I want to be.
But I cannot go on reading what you write. Or listening to the music you make.
Because it still wounds my soul.

And here I was, thinking that I am in the support phase in dabda.
maybe I need more time.Maybe I’m just missing you too much. Or Maybe, I am just too sensitive today.
you always manage to make me cry. Even when you, specifically, was the first and only guy who told me to NEVER CRY FOR GUYS.
It is not your fault. Sorry that I am burdening you with all of this.
You and your panda.

Thank You, LaLa.

i guess this is gonna be another love letter that I’m going to write to you, LaLa. I tried sworning off love letters to you, but I just can’t help it.
you know what, tonight I’m really happy. I can show you my heart and you’ll see it’s bursting with happiness inside out. That’s why I am no longer feeling tired, although I was about to collapse some moments ago. I am no longer sleepy even if I was feeling lethargic the whole day. I’ll have to repeat again and again to myself how unhandsome you are, but still you have this effect on me. You make me want to write bestselling novels,and I actually get the ideas. You’re too much of an inspiration to me. At times, my heart feels so broken and I feel the loneliness creeping into my heart because the feeling that I could never have you is too real. I guess it’s the frustration. I’m really frustrated when you are around because I want you to be mine, but sadly, I can’t. Because I’m not the kind of person you would like. I know your type. fair-skinned, pretty, talented older girls. And I’m the exact opposite. I’m dark, clumsy, homely, untalented, younger-than-you girl. But I like you. More than they do, even if you put their feelings for you altogether . I don’t even understand myself.
Maybe it’s because you’re so nice to me. I can’t tolerate nice, lala. i’ll have to fall. I really really like you. And then, you’re nthe only guy who mademe, who allowed me to feel the things I have no business feeling. Like for instance, the feeling of being fetched fromthe dormitory with my man, walking together to the cafeteria, eating whie facing n each other…
I know you’d never be MY man (although I really dream I’d be), But I really like you, so, it’s considerable.
And then the feeling that I’m being called from my room because the man of my heart is witing outside for me,during a really nice evening. And then, walking from the church, just me and you, in a sea of people, caught up in our own world. I wish the world we were in then was not all business, but it was, and I am still happy. Maybe I’d be happier if it was about us. ha. dream on girl!
And then having the right to wait in front of the men’s dormitory because I was waiting for you. And then, before that, in church, I was with my friends and you were waiting for me like a groom! and then, we were smiling at each other from meters away. walking away together, yourscent filling my senses—that’s such a moment to remember.
then you even brought the ‘business’ we had and walked me home. To the ladies dormitory even, if the guards hadn’t been there. damn guards.
all these, may be nothing to you. Perhaps you don’t even give these a second thought, but these, leaves my heart rejoicing, and, unfortunately, falling a little deeper for you. Still, I’m not going to blame you. Thank you so much for everything. Everything you’ve ever done for me. for hapee. I guess I’m not gonna change the names and everything, because i want to remember, always. Andmaybe I’ll changemynickname. The spelling I mean. LaLa, thank you for being nice to me at all times. I miss our touching moments,playful moments together. I want to have those back too. Thank you for letting me experience the things that I’d probably miss without you. Thank you so much. I’ll never forget this moments. I think this will be the only chance I’ll get at experiencing them.
I noticed though that i only get this sweet moments when THEY are not around. Itsounds mean, but many times I’ve wished them gone. Sorry LaLa.
Although, to tell you frankly, these good things are gonna make it hurt the more in the future. You know what? I have one wish regarding you. I wish we’d be able to jog, just the two of us, one morning. then maybe have breakfast together. I don’t kow what will happen then,but I wish for it to happen with all my heart. I might get all tongue-tied, but who know? I want to give it a try. how about you? I guess….I don’t really know. I can’t tell.
I can’t ask you, It’s too embarassing. actually, I can carry you knowing bout my heart, but your friends knowing—–I can’t bear to think of that. I won’t live throuh it, I guess. Knowing you you’ll tell them for sure. that, I really don’t like. so I can’t ask you out. I’ll just pray for a huge miracle. Thanks again, dear LaLa. my closest.

Dear 72,

Dear 72,
I still haven’t find an appropriate name for you. Well, today I hope you’re doing great. I wonder what you are doing right now. You’re probably on a date. I heard you had a date for tomorrow too. Well, that’s great. You know who told me that? That friend of yours. She told me you met your girl at the salon. Well, come to think of it, that was on the day we went for an escapade to the great ruins. And I was with you too, until we dropped you off to that stupid salon. I heard she got mad because she couldn’t go with you to the ruins. I feel like it’s partly my fault. No, maybe all of it is my fault. If I were’nt with the group, she could have been there, and you can’t say that she could no longer fit in your car. Well, she’s actually the priority and I’m the outsider. I guess I’ll have to deal with it. Even when she’s not around though, I can still feel that I’m the only UNPAIRED one, still the outsider, longing for you. But now I won’t long for you no more. I had this weird feeling while we were at the RUINS. I felt like I felt nothing for you. But then, some few seconds later, my heart went thump-thumping again in my chest like crazy. Maybe it IS crazy. I guess I feel like this because I’m getting used to you, like I’ve already warmed up. I just wish I’ll warm up once and not restart warming up all over again when I see you or when I’m around you. Sort of like an automatic car. Or whatever.
I’m so stupid when it comes to cars. I can’t drive. I don’t have much knowledge at all. Well, I feel so stupid and act so stupid when around you. I can feel you get irritated often. I can understand. And I know I’m not being paranoid. Still, I’m okay with that. My like for you is slowly fading away, thank God for that.
Do you know that I really enjoyed the trip with you? Not just with you, but it was more enjoyable because of you. I think it would have been boring without you. Sure, I had some bloopers, a lot of them even, especially after I changed into that stupid dress. Haish, I felt so uncomfortable with that! I need to get a flowing dress for myself soon. Well, you probably captured some of my bloopers there. Haha. In your cam. When are you gonna upload those? I hope you’d upload everything. Well, I’ll just ask you to delete those which are so embarrassing. I had some few shots with you, and a picture really tells a story. Don’t you agree? I’m actually smiling as I write this, because I remember the photos. Well, it shows. I’m certainly wearing my heart out on my eyes. There’s even this photo which shows us sitting face to face, and then I was looking at you and you were looking elsewhere. Then in the next photo, she joined us, and you were looking at her. The photo would have been much better if I was still looking at you. It’s cute. We should make some drama-scene photos sometimes.
I don’t feel hurt anymore. I used to be, you know, when I look at you, when I think of you. Yesterday, I certainly was. When that friend of yours told me all about your ‘coincidental-destined-encounter’ with that Noona, well, smiled a lot. I even laughed an acknowledged how destined you were. There are so many ‘she’ in your life! My shoulders felt so heavy then, I had trouble in keeping them up. They had to droop. Yet I listened, I pretended and acted as if I was happy to hear it. That’s the farthest thing from what I’ve been feeling. I felt like my heart was staked. But now, I think it’s actually a good thing, a blessing in disguise. I have gotten in touch with reality through that. With ‘brows’ alone, I can’t. I agree with ‘brows’ when she said you’re a ‘friend-material’ not a ‘boyfriend-material’. But not with the same reasons that she has. Her reason was she’d hurt you, and my reason was, you’ll break my heart.
I had never been with you while that Noona was with you, so I can’t judge your reactions well. Perhaps, you might be confused right now, with them both. They’re exactly the type you like: Older. And I’m so much younger than you. Well, maybe not ‘so much’. Just a year or so. I watched your reactions around ‘brows’. The photos even shows it. You’re always looking at her, when she isn’t looking. Well, she likes you too. She definitely has hots for you, if you haven’t already noticed. I have too, but I’m always the unnoticeable one. I’m invisible. Isn’t that great? People always wanted to become invisible, and I do it without much difficulty. Great, right?
If I were to forget this ‘malicious’ feelings for you, do you think our friendship will improve? I really noticed how awkward it is between us. I’ll give you a REAL example. That day, at the RUINS, we walked toward Cecil, your car. It seems that we can’t find something to talk about. Or maybe, you just don’t want to talk to me. When we talk, it’s always the same thing were talking about. Sun cellular, sims3, the smoking cessation thing. Can we at least talk about something with sense sometime? I’d like that.
I really like Cecil by the way. I wish you’re not going to send her away. But I know you would, but it’s okay. I guess.
Do you know which moments with you I like most? It’s during those bowling games. It’s only then that I can ‘connect’ with you, but even then the connection gets interrupted when there’s a new game. I’m always down on my luck when I’m tired. Hahaha. While others are still warming up, I am at my peak. And when everybody’s all warmed up, I’m already weary. Haha. How I wish I could practice. I’d love to beat you at something. Maybe at bowling? Haha. I suck at sports. Basketball, badminton, soccer, those ball games, and even billiards. You said we’re gonna try that little game. I don’t even know what’s that called. But I guess, only ‘brows’ is keeping us together. Even if were having so much fun, if she leaves, we break apart.
I really like the moment I scored 95. You scored 103. This reminds me of the exam scores. You scored 103 too. I on the other hand, scored 119. Well, I guess You’ll get a higher grade. It’s okay. I don’t care. I’m already satisfied with my grade. I wish it’ll be higher, but if it’s gonna be just like this, I’m not gonna die. I am that kind of person. Just like if you’re not gonna be mine, it’s fine with me. Hahaha.
I’m still reviewing our photos and it’s real funny. I had some with just you…and me 
Am I gonna see you tomorrow? After your date or not? Or maybe she’d be with you.
No. I am not going to look forward to seeing you. She’s pretty, I had to admit. That noona. Replay by shine, the English version is really for me. Haha.

Hey You!

If I could sing a song to you, I’d sing ‘What should I do’ by Jang geun seok/ Park Shin Hye. You wouldn’t understand anything, but that song would tell you everything I’m feeling right now.
Do you know that I hate seeing people leave? Seeing you leave right before my very eyes without even saying goodbye (well duh, who am I that you’d say goodbye to me?!) hurts. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too obsessed with you. I feel so regretful. I regret that I shook your hands. Why in the world did I do that??? I felt like the way I felt when I went to Antoniel’s house to see him. It’s downright embarrassing. It’s like a totally spontaneous decision and then after the deed’s done, I’d drown myself in regrets and ask myself “WHY THE HECK DID I DO THAT??!”
I wanted to bang my head against the wall, HARD!
Can I take that handshake back?
I think that must have looked as if I’m desperate, which, in fact, I am, really, but…
I really liked the feel of your soft hands against mine. Why were your hands cool? Were they as cool as mine? And clammy too.
Here I am again, unnecessary drama.
I wasn’t supposed to do that.
Do you know that you’ve said a total of two sentences to me today? uh, no. sorry. Three. One in the morning, one during the break in between exams, and one after everything. The first thing you said in the morning [to me] is “Where is she? she’s late, can’t you text her? Because I don’t have my phone with me.”
The second statement was ” Do you have notes?” and the last thing you said was “Can I get the SIMS3 DVD, because she needs it”.
To sum it all up, it’s all about You and her. Mostly Her. Aw.
My life is such a misery but I still manage to laugh and pretend that I’m happy.
I am, when I’m with you, but I never had you for myself. There’s always someone else. Hah. I know I should be giving up. I am. Things are going wrong between us since I’ve accepted what I felt. So I’ll just discard everything. It’s hopeless to hope anyway.
That sounded nice. I saw you left today. Driving that UBERly cool car of yours. Fast. I wish you didn’t have that.
I’m wondering…will I ever have a chance to have you for myself? It’s crazy but you are such a distraction. I can’t concentrate at all when you’re around, because my thoughts kept on drifting away to you.
I want to stop this already, because it’s so insane. I kept on feeling idiotically hurt because I just can’t be with you.
I wish I’d find another person who can divert my attention. But right now, I’m all alone.
I should stop thinking about you.
But it’s so hard.
I don’t understand WHY. WHY?!

Dear You (again)

I need to find an appropriate name for you. So that I won’t go on using ‘YOU’.
Today I was very excited to see you. I was really looking forward to seeing you for today. Since last night, I was having a bad feeling. You pretended not to see me, I had to call out. And then your responses had been so clipped and polite. WHY?
And today you didn’t even greet me. No playfulness. You wouldn’t even look at me in the eye. You wouldn’t address me. I’m trying here, can’t you see? Maybe I shouldn’t be trying. I should stop. This wouldn’t amount to anything anyways, so why should I?
Did you notice me looking at you and watching for your reactions?
Now, I have the intuition that you really like her. Because you don’t want her to get into a relationship yet. You don’t want her to find a boyfriend. You know what, I’m great at undoing. I’ll undo my deeds to you. I may have hurt you years and years before, and I’ll have to admit, I was partly at fault at that, and I understand if you’re blaming me or that you won’t forgive me. This time, I’ll try my best to make your relationship successful. I’ll do everything to make you happy. To get the girl you want, if I can be of any help. Yes, it would hurt me. Wound me deeply, probably. But I have to do this, if just to ease my guilt. But I think it’s unfair that you’re thinking it’s all because of me, that you and her didn’t work out. Thinking about that makes me want to weep and scream. I was just helping my friend. She said she hated your guts, but she can’t act it. So I acted it out for her. And look where it got me. They say your first impression of someone is the impression that stays even after you’ve known the person.
Ouch. If then, that impression you have of me will always stay. That I am this freak chaperon who hates you and who is manipulating her bestfriend to hate you and to break your heart.
I’m really sorry.
This must be karma. I’m paying for all of my sins I’ve done to you. I can’t even say sorry to you properly.
I can’t even show you how much I like you.
I’ve told myself to stop all of this but I just won’t listen.
So here I am, happy, elated and euphoric when I see you and crushed, heartbroken and frustrated a while later.
You don’t have any idea how distracted I am today, to see you acting like that. I hope I’ll understand what is wrong, so I can correct it. I really shouldn’t be hoping that you’d like me back.

You know what, I wanted to resign from this chaperoning bussiness, but it seems like I’ve gotten hired again. I now serve as a chaperon and a photographer at the same time. I’ve got salary increase to. I used to work for laughter, now I’ve managed to secure HEARTACHE benefits on the job.
How nice and cool and stupid.
I hate this.

Dear You

You have no idea but you’re breaking my heart. I swear you are. my life is so upside down ever since I LIKED you. At times, I’d be soaring high, with happiness that I can’t quite contain. Sometimes I’d be so sad and heartbroken that I break down and cry. But everything is so exciting.
I am so thrilled today, at lunch, when I was so scared to look at you. I pretended not to see you, but then, my friend, who knows everything gestured at something else your way, so I had to look. And when I looked at you you were smiling at me from ear to ear and my hurt almost burst. naturally, I smiled back. I couldn’t say anything, even. It would’ve been the end of the world, and I wouldn’t have noticed. I still would have smiled at you, with my eyes on yours, unable to think. Once again.
I was so happy, I couldn’t eat well.
But then, she told me she slept in your room. Aw. At that, my wings disappeared and I dropped to the ground all of a sudden, without a warning. It hurts. I wanted to scream.
How can you make me so happy like there are no more unfilled space in my heart for a moment and make me feel this painful a minute later? Like my world is tilted to one side and suddenly shaken to the other side. there’s absolutely no sense of balance.
You really shouldn’t act this nice. I might fall in love with you, if I haven’t yet.
This is why I hate NICE guys. they—You, make me like them—you. And it’s hard to break away once I’m hooked. i can give you my all, even when I’m not supposed to, all, like my time and my heart. Everything that counts.
Please don’t make this too hard for me.
I was thinking about asking you whether you see her as a woman or just as a friend. Or I should ask you if you like her. Do you?
Shall I ask you?
When I get a chance, I will. If I get hurt, it’s better. The earlier, the better, right?
I won’t stand in your way, I won’t make troubles for any of you. I’ll sit by silently, watching even if my heart can’t take it.
By the way, that car is cool. Nice and huggable, like you. It’s color reminds me of your scent. i don’t know.
Let’s be friends, shall we?
But if we will be, just like this, I’m afraid I’ll start falling for you. It seems that I already have. Aw. More hurt heart in store for me.
I can’t look at anyone else anymore. All I can see is you. The moment I wake up, you are the first thing that I realize. It’s as if you are in my mind even when i was asleep. This is crazy, but am I thinking of you even when I’m asleep? Then, do you know, that immediately I look out of the window? And when I can’t see you, or any sign of you, I jump out of bed to have breakfast, hoping that I’ll find you there?
Can there be someone more crazy than me?
I wanted to make some moves on you, but I’m afraid I can’t. I’m more traditional than you think. And she’s doing everything I can’t.
I can see it, you falling for her.
But, in case you get hurt, which I’m sure you will be, sooner or later—I’m right here. I’ll still be here, even when I know I’m not your default ear or shoulder. I know that if you’ll have any problems you’ll definitely go to THIS girl, but in case you need me, I’d be here. Still.
Just until I find someone else to love.
And even when I do, I might still be willing and wanting to listen. But will you seek me?

xoxo
hapi =(

Hurt Letter

Hey there. I know you’ll never ever get to read this, but…
I just want to let this out.

I liked you. I still do. And I can’t seem to stop liking you. Even if everything else in my body are screaming for me to stop.
There are tell-tale signs everywhere, that I shouldn’t, that I should stop. But did I hear, See or heed those? No, I did not. Stubborn as I am, I continued on my narrow-headedness and eventually admitted to myself that I do LIKE You. I’m bad at liking people. It’s like I’m giving all my ‘LIKE’ to the person I like. It’s not really healthy, and I know, but I can’t seem to stop. When we talk, we always reach dead-ends of the conversation. We change topics as often as we blink. Still, I enjoy it. Because I like you and I enjoy your company very much. We could sit side by side and say nothing for hours, and I’d still be happy with it, although that hasn’t happened yet.
I’m considering subtly asking you out, but hey, I can’t seem to muster enough courage. And then, what do we do once you agreed? I’d probably be laughing at every syllable you say. You have that effect on me. Everyone I like does. Except that before, I would suppress my laughter, and then now, I’m trying to let it go. I feel like I’m free. But oftentimes, my smile is erased from my face, because I see you having the time of your life with her, and I’m envious. I’m jealous. Yeah. But I don’t hate any of you. It’s just that there’s this stupid, wishful thinking part of me that asks every three seconds ‘why it can’t be you, hapi?’ Well, I can’t really blame that part of me, but I hope it won’t make me turn mean. i feel mean enough already. Well, I hate the unfairness of it all, but I can’t really blame it on anyone. Not even me, because I’m really, really trying hard here. And is it my fault that I am not pretty? Or talented? Or sporty? Or well-muscled? Or that I am not in the top of my class? Or that I don’t know how to dance? Or that I’m poor? Maybe. Maybe, some of it are my fault. but still, you’re not at fault here as well. Or her, for that matter. But still I think it’s unfair that she has everybody and she could have anyone else she wanted, and still she’d want YOU. And me, on the other hand, doesn’t have anybody and I want only You, and I just can’t have you. And I can see you falling for her.
I don’t mind, really. Yeah, really, I am such a liar. I don’t want you to fall for her! I want you to be mine!!! MINE!
But of course, there’s nothing really that I can do.
Do you have an idea what happened today? She asked me to go away, to leave my chair because I was sitting right next to her, because she wants you to sit beside her. So I left.
I could sense too that she got mad earlier because she wanted you to comfort her and everything. I don’t know but I felt like it’s what’s happening. I know her and I know she could be manipulative sometimes.
Well, I know she liked the way you fussed over her. You seem to enjoy it too. As I watch helplessly. But, I don’t want to do bad things to my body just so you could comfort me, or just so you could ask me to stop.
What the heck?
I’m just feeling moronically hurt today because it happened to me before. My first love asked me to go because he wanted to talk to my bestfriend. She wanted me to go, and she’s my friend! It hurts more.
Perhaps, I’m in between you. So maybe I should leave.
But I have the fighting instinct now. Maybe because I’ve been through this before and it all resulted in regrets. This time, I don’t want to regret anymore.
So shall I, in my little discreet and subtle way, FIGHT for you?
Even when you have no idea, Perhaps I should take my chances (although there seems to be none) just to make sure I won’t have regrets in the future. I’m going to miss you. When you talk about med school, I’m missing you already.

Without Words

Because I can’t say anything to you, I can feel you walking away from my grasp. And still, I can’t say anything. I know that I have no right in grasping you or holding you in the first place. My heart is holding you without permission, and I know it’s crazy and you’ll probably would hate me if you knew. I thought it’s so much better if you had no idea, but I find myself in pain, pretending that I am so happy for you and some other girls. Deep inside, I want it to be me, even if it just can’t be. I find myself imprisoned in a cage I made for myself—a cage made out of the fear of rejection. I don’t want you to hate me. If we were friends, even if it’s like this, I’d be happy. Yeah, I’m happy now. I’m always Happy anyway, but still, I long for you. But you’re too far from me,you’re out of my league, and I’m weak, so weak that even if I stretch out my hand to reach out for you, still too far from me. I can’t reach you and I’ve used up all of my energy. Or probably not.
I find myself trying to please you. I’m trying to open up my world, the one I’ve kept private—all to myself for so long—just so you could enter into my life. But, do you even notice? Probably not. How can you notice if there’s someone brilliant, charming and beautiful–sparkling even—right beside you? And to think that she’s wanting you too, that she’s doing her best to get close to you, to gain your attention! So, do I stand a chance? Nope. Definitely not a chance.
I keep telling myself that I’m happy enough when we’re like this, when at times you offer your hand to me to touch or affectionately hit, (although you probably never noticed that it’s affectionate, do you?); When you pat me in the back gently, when you look at me in the eyes as you talk to me, and when you smile at me from the other side of the room. Yes, I am. But they’re not constant, I really wish they’d happen everyday. But sometimes, I think about the pain that you cause me, and I wonder if the happiness I feel is worth it, if it’s enough reason to get this hurt that I have no right feeling.
I’m not supposed to feel hurt at all.

Do you know that..I know that you’ll get hurt in one way or another if you fall. I wouldn’t want you to skin your knee—I know you’re prone to being hurt…or sick for that matter. I wouldn’t want you all lovesick, it’ll break my heart to smithereens. I want to care for you when you get a cold, I wish I could keep you warm. But then…I can’t.
I could just watch with my heart going out to you.
I get affected when you get a skinned knee, how much more if I see your heart being broken and stomped upon to powder before my very eyes?
I will get hurt too, twice the pain.

All I want is to see you always laughing WITH me, with your eyes glued on mine.
She loves many. And I tend to stick to one, to get hurt by one.
Just take care of yoursel